Just saw this. Want it.

Imogen Poots starring in, and starring in, The Look Of Love.

Happy New Year!

A New Year's Resolution

I will dress up in 1950s style feminine clothing, at least once.

Blagh, cold weather, going out being practical. Roll on spring.

A ghost story for Christmas

The house has been empty for decades, never occupied for more than a few days, since a tragedy in the Victorian era. And now you know why no-one could live here, as you find yourself re-enacting it... taking the role of the girl who died the night before her wedding...

... even though you were a man when you entered the house.

You begin to undress, then slowly, skilfully dress yourself in the lovely feminine clothing. The fine corset, silk stockings, lace-trimmed petticoats and satin ballgown should have long since rotted away to nothing, but they are good as new, and putting on each one alters you to fit them, changing you more and more into the beautiful young lady who should wear them.

Unseen hands assist you... whispering voices tell you when to breathe in for the corset to tighten and constrict your waist, when to step into the high heeled shoes... as your eyes adjust, you see that your maids are dressing you...

Soon, you will be fully dressed... fully transformed... fully transported to the past, and a new life as a lady. You could resist, escape...

But you don't...

The Hot Chick is, like, really bad. And if I got turned into Rachel McAdams I'd want to see myself as her.

Boxing Day

One more.

THE SHOES!

I can be naughty instead of nice... and I feel like a present when I'm nicely wrapped.

All I'm Wanted For This Christmas

Geeklet wants me to wear this. I can hardly say no...

Like this, please

I've been a good boy all year... can I be a good girl now?

All I want for Christmas...

Well, here we are at Christmas Eve. I'm wearing my new lingerie, hose and heels, makeup, jewellery and perfume. Wishing I could be beautiful. Wishing there was someone I could be beautiful for.

Me while decorating the tree

I wish!

Beautiful, decadent and often surreal

I'd like to live in the world of perfume adverts.

Much more fun than warm

It's the longest night, the heart of winter, time to wear something HOT!

Home and changing

That's the party season over for me... now to slip into the dress I wish I could have worn to the last one...

200 posts!

And to celebrate - FEI-FEI!

(Thanks to Ursine Enchantress!)

Party time

Xmas party season... girls in dresses, dancing in heels, all dolled up... so jealous.

A reminder of another early influence

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around
Turned you into someone new...

Fantasising about transformation, sharing fantasies with others...

Catching up on stories and RP and whatnot.

Oh, for a chance to wear a little black dress

Guy clothes today. Worse, practical guy clothes. Oh well, it makes my chances to doll myself up properly all the more precious. But passing the high street stores with mannequins in evening dresses for the party season makes it soooo much worse.

Mmmm

A nice day indoors, with the heating on, dressed the right way, in my new undies and a favourite blouse and skirt. I even had time to do my makeup.

TG fiction should have lots of stories about beauty products that make the male wearer beautiful and feminine, right? How best to search for them when Fictionmania lumps them in with real-life chemical and hormonal changes...

"You're worth it."

Quoting the beauty ad... because every time I see one of those, I wish I were.

And I wish that stuff did everything it said - and more. We can't all be a Lea T or a Andreja... but a girl can dream.

Who gets to be beautiful? Who misses out? Will I be luckier next time?

Update

I have a nice black bra and knickers set. I'm worth it.

Ice Angel

The season reminds me of a terrible TG movie (Yay!) with the most casual reaction to a gender-changing body swap resurrection ever. Seriously, the subject is weirded out for like one scene...

Wrapping up warm is the least fun dressing option.

The ground is sparkly, but I don't feel glamorous

And now there's ice on the roads. Like I wasn't having to wear ugly boy shoes enough already.

The old old problem

Well, got a lot of Xmas shopping done. But my Xmas shopping for me is pretty much online, and hoping sizes are accurate as I can't exactly take a lingerie set back...

Frustration:

A weekend in a city with a big shopping district, surrounded by pretty thing shops I can't really go into.

Lady Killer

A sudden and unexpected turn-on when looking at comic and movie news, Lady Killer.

Mostly that yellow dress in the final image (which was the preview on the main site). I so very very want it.

If only

I've got a long weekend of not dressing properly ahead, so I'm getting some skirt time in now.

Still thinking about Cinderella... is there one of us who hasn't wished for a fairy godmother to magic us up a ballgown?

Cinderella

A new live-action version from Disney, directed by Kenneth Branagh, with Lily James, Richard Madden, Holliday Grainger, Cate Blanchett and Helena Bonham-Carter.

And this dress, and those shoes.

Richard Madden as Prince Charming I can see (though I think he looks better with a beard). Holliday Grainger as an ugly sister I'm not so sure about, but never mind.

December

Time to get out your stockings, and wish for a reward for being a good girl all year... ;)

Kilts - only good with schoolgirl outfits

It's St. Andrew's Day, one of the days I can wear a skirt casually, but it's a man-skirt so it's no fun...

Star Wars

I included "Slave Leia" in my Halloween costume desires, but more as an example of a harem girl outfit, and as modelled by Kristen Bell. The original Star Wars movies came out pre-adolescence, so Leia herself doesn't press my buttons (Han Solo kind of does... ;) )

With their richness, complexity and elements of disguise, Queen Amidala does rather appeal to me. Although there are a only a few of her many costumes I'd really like to try on, like her wedding dress...

So I'm wondering if Daisy Ridley as (character name not yet confirmed) will stay as tomboyish as she looks in that first trailer. I kinda hope she does - Leia was a tomboyish princess. But I also hope there's someone in the new films who does get something fabulous to wear. ;)

Happy cheap dresses online day!

Thanksgiving with Marilyn Monroe

I never saw these before!

Proof that "Sexy Whatever" Costumes aren't new...

Give her something to do!

The makers of Gotham were playing with us when Barbara was Put On A Bus. (And she was dressed far too nicely for a bus ride.)

The Age of Adaline

This reminded me of missing Gossip Girl. Although I'd totally be Leighton first.

Too short (and not my hemline)

Spent a lovely weekend properly dressed... hate having to go back to male clothes.

Guess who's typing this with newly painted nails...

Lessons of wearing a miniskirt - not by me, sadly.

What say I slip into something a lot less comfortable?

Transgender Day Of Remembrance

Transgender Day Of Remembrance - may it be a safe and peaceful day for all.

Some plot might help, but...

Barbara in Gotham has nothing to do as a character except lounge around her huge penthouse and wear beautiful clothes.

I wish I had her problems.

Okay, just spent a few minutes web window shopping... could spend more on one dress and ensemble than I have on clothes all year. Oh, to be rich as well as pretty.

I'll take... oh, be honest, I'll take all of them.

Party clothes in high-street stores. Dresses for some, tuxes for others. I hate tuxes...

Real proper winter... time for wrapping up when outside... and dolling up when inside.

Reincarnation

I would like there to be life after death, but reincarnation in particular sounds fun. Maybe I want to be a 50s housewife because I used to be one...

Currently watching Intruders on the BBC, which is a horror version of it, where the old souls take over from the new lives and push them aside, and are generally not nice people. They'd have to be secretive, and probably dangerous, to keep proof down.

I've seen some reincarnation TG fiction here and there... fantasised about having lived another life myself. Maybe I should get writing...

Or fast.

Like the boys heard you are.

Or revealing.

Like your dress.

Or brief.

Or thong.

Or to the point.

Like your nails.

Or high.

Like the heels you find yourself wearing.

Or maybe long.

Like your hair.

I'm busy for a while so I'll keep this short.

Like that skirt.

New makeup!

I didn't get to dress for Halloween itself... but I maaaaay have dressed once or twice since. ;)

Yay for Lea T

The TG model now the face of Redken haircare.

Remember, remember...

... how pretty Jacobean clothing was.

What?

Male haircuts are no fun. I want ringlets...

That dress. Those boots. That hair. Yes please.

Strawberry Switchblade. This may have been another early-ish influence, from just a few months before I tried on my first bra. Looking back now... want that look SO much.

And suddenly every wardrobe in history would be available...

And a Doctor Who thought that isn't wishing to look like Clara...

And, well, one more.

Saw it, want it.

Anna Paquin costumed as Little Red Riding Hood in Trick r Treat. The reveal panning up from the high heels to the full skirt with a glimpse of petticoat to the corset to the pigtails certainly sold it for me...

Dress me... as a woman.

One last costume (after 150 posts)... but there are so many to choose from. I could fill another month... more styles, stars, characters, national costumes, historical periods...

And I suppose that's the point. Dressing as a woman is so much more delightful than dressing as a man could ever hope to be. I want to do it every day.

Happy Halloween, ladies.

Dress me Fay Wray...

If it's Halloween, I might as well be the perfect horror heroine.

Whatever happened to Fay Wray? That delicate satin draped frame... As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry... for I wanted to be dressed just the same.

Dress me Bettie Page...

If we're going to go burlesque, may as well go all the way!

Dress me Burlesque...

Alternative, retro, oh so naughty...

Dress me Harem Girl...

Genie magic optional. Belly dancing required.

Kristen Bell as a character cosplaying as Slave Leia. It's all rather meta.

This. Yes. Please.

Dress me Vampire...

And you know I want this too... don't you?

Don't you wish for the red kiss of eternal beauty?

Dress me Fairytale Princess...

A last full week, time for some fantastical fantasies...

Based on certain previous posts, I doubt it will shock you that I want to be a fairytale princess.

When I wish upon a star...

Dress me 80s...

And now into an era I remember... and around the time I started dressing.

Sadly I didn't have Alex's wardrobe from Ashes To Ashes to dress up in!

Dress me Flapper...

Passing through the Georgian period (with a side visit to the Netherfield ball) and the American Civil War as well as a return to Victoriana, we come within a hundred years of home and a very modern retro style.

(As modelled by Clara again, last week.)

Dress me Rococo...

This makes Victorian clothing seem positively practical!

To be imprisoned in absolute femininity...

Dress me Renaissance...

A few centuries later, and a whole lot fancier.

Tight bodices, full skirts, elaborate decoration...

Dress me Medieval...

New week, new theme... History.

I love the Middle Ages... although I also like sanitation and religious freedom and the like. But dress me like Maid Marian and I won't complain about that for a while at least...

Especially this version. Silver satin gowns!

Dress me Model...

Hey, it's a job! Sort of cheating considering how many models I've already posted, but...

Ginta Lapina for La Senza lingerie. She looks like such a blonde bombshell for them, and a lot less so for other shoots...

Dress me Bunny Girl...

And if I'm going to be a waitress, why not a hostess... why not a Bunny Girl...

Let alone Amber Heard as a retro Bunny Girl. How did this TV show fail...?

Dress me Waitress...

The end of the working week, but girls like us work weekends too...

And yes, I lean towards 50s waitress. I know...

Dress me Stewardess...

Another rather 50s / early 60s profession, with exacting standards of beauty and being ordered around by men in authority.

And a video too! Louise Wener, indie hero, doing it ironically.. and so damn well.

Dress me Nurse...

Another classic, and one I really do go for. (I blame the Carry On films...)

The white dress uniform sometimes with stockings, the retro style... taking orders from doctors and giving them to patients...

Yes, nowadays they wear scrubs, but where's the fun in that?

Dress me Maid...

Not one I generally go for, but it's a classic, so...

Yvette from Clue makes it work.

Dress me Secretary...

New theme for the week... work. And uniforms.

Turned from a smart, capable businessman into his rival's sexy secretary... so close to masculine power but so very far from it... obeying the dress code... habing to do what I'm told if I want to become myself again... How can I help you today, sir?

Dress me Rocking...

The type of clubbing I normally do involves leather, stompy boots and unlikely hair.

Being a rock chick could be delightful. (So could being Ulorin Vex.)

Dress me Clubbing...

I would love to find out who she is... and to be in her shoes. And that dress.

Daaaamn.

Dress me Teacher...

And we end our school week...

See me after class!

Dress me Naughty Schoolgirl...

But being British... I'm more of a St. Trinian's girl.

I'm a naughty girl and I need a spanking...

Dress me Prom Queen...

And as an all-American girl, I want that dress and tiara!

And you want it too...

(I may ever so slightly want to be Quinn from glee sometimes. Just sometimes. Not all the time. Nope.)

Dress me Cheerleader...

I'm not even American, and I'd still love to be this kind of all-American girl!

I'd be sooooo sweet.

Dress me Schoolgirl...

It's Monday, time for school.

Hey, at least I skipped the pigtails...

Dress me 50s Housewife...

Maybe a little Stepford on the side.

I want to spend the rest of my life swishing around in beautiful 1950s dresses. Is that wrong?

Dress me Bride...

Or better, make me a bride.

I'm an old-fashioned girl at heart, and I want a fairytale wedding.

Dress me Goth...

It's Friday, it's four weeks to Hallowe'en...

Buy this for me?

Dress me Victorian...

I wish that was me on the right. Or the left, but the black brocade and hint of pink satin...

Dress me...

A month of dressing up? Okay!

I'm a bit busy to blog properly, so in lieu of that... dresses and outfits and costumes I want to wear!

Ah, October

The one month of the year I can stock up on Goth girl makeup with relatively little comment.

Wake me up when September ends.

Oh, there we go.

(Oh, Evan Rachel Wood. Swoon.)

Today I had a loooong shower, then had to get my hair cut. Wish I could grow it out, long and silky and luxurious...

I wish my sizes worked...

I want to spend soooo much money at the retro 50s shop and beauty parlour in town.

Bite me

The vampire smiles as he speaks. "I will give you the power to transform into the deadliest predator any man knows..."

You feel your skin soften, your chest heave, your waist narrow, your hips flare.

"A woman."

I never had a teacher who looked like that.

And I want to be one.

The temptations of shopping

It's about time to refresh my winter wardrobe. Sooo tempting to skip the boring male things and go for heels instead of flats, hosiery instead of socks, skirts instead of trousers. Go to the "wrong" departments in the shops. Come out and doll myself up like I should be.

As it is, I will have a little money spare...

Pretending to be a man is exhausting.

Get ready to wow them!

You are woken by a makeup brush on your cheek.

"Five minutes!" someone says, as a woman keeps working on your face. You feel brushes on your lips, eyelids, lashes.

Your legs being put into stockings... your feet into high heels, fastened securely with ankle straps.

Something is zipped up behind you.

You realise it's a dress.

And you realise it looks good on you.

Where are you? Who are you?

The stylist takes curlers out of your hair, and it bounces around your shoulders as she stands you up. You sway a little on the heels, but not as much as you think you should.

"Okay, get out there, sashay, sell the dress, give the cameras a pout."

It's a fashion show.

And as you pass a mirror, you see that you're... the top model.

Transparent

Behind a terrible pun is a show that sounds promising. More of us look like Jeffrey Tambor than Chloe Sevigny, much as we'd rather be the other way.

The Shift

Would you like to see Molly Quinn as a perfect early 60s housewife? Or something that looks like one?

(It's sorta-horror and sadly not TG...)

I play "normal" roleplaying games as well, and a new one just started, and the discussion of playing across the gender binary came up while the players created characters.

I kept quiet. :/

Hmph

And normal service resumed.

New fantasy: lying politician turned into college girl intern.

Such is life

This was one time where I didn't want to submit to a dominant partner.

Oh well, make a fantasy of it... a strong Scotsman defeated and turned into a pretty little sissy girl by an English master.

I resent the fact that only male me gets to vote.

I'll be voting tomorrow. The Scottish Parliament passing equal marriage before the UK one did might be a factor in my voting choice.

Who was the first TG?

We know the first SRS, but who was the first transperson? There are trans-related myths in a lot of cultures, there's a command against it in the Bible (as well as cotton-poly blends) but who was the first person to cross that line?

You will belong to him

Feel your mind surrender along with your body... feel him reshape you there as well...

Masculine resistance becomes feminine submission... you want to please him... as only a girl can...

You surrender so easily, it must be true... you were meant for this...

Okay, I may have just watched a four-hour historical drama for the frocks. And it wasn't even really about the female lead.

Today I got to relax, put on some proper clothes and lounge around the house a while. Delayed gratification can be fun... I'd just like constant gratification more.

100 posts!

Do I get to make a wish?

If so, I wish for a rich and handsome man to turn me into the perfect housewife.

Dressing up the other way

A proper blog post of sorts! I met someone today who I've known slightly for a year or two, who was born female and has recently started experimentally expressing as male, and is strident about how artificial gender identity is. Which is true, of course, but one argument is that men only wear trousers because skirts are gendered female. I don't know about that - in Scotland men can wear kilts and it's pretty much ceremonial, just for weddings and graduations and that kind of thing. Why? Well, for one thing it's awful windy. Trousers are pretty much unisex now, because they're more practical than skirts, let alone skirts and hosiery. And that's before you get on to crazily (and delightfully) impractical stuff like high heels and makeup.

This person also wears a top hat. Which is pretty stylin'.

But you're not here to read that. So I'll slip in a few things that will catch your eye while stocking up for my blog calendar, I might skirt the issue if I dress up my language, makeup the details and have to be away on my heels sooner rather than later!

So what have I been up to? I've been worked off my dainty (I wish) little feet and catching up on sleep when I'm not. Not much time for naughty fantasies. :/

It's been one of those weeks, so this is a retro post. Sadly this doesn't mean I'm in seamed stockings and made up like Betty Page.

Dressing as a fairytale princess

Doctor Who again! Clara obviously likes dressing up more than most of the modern show's companions. A girl after my own heart.

Pixie Lott on Strictly Come Dancing? I admit that's tempting.

Nicely done, BBC...

Tonight's late film on BBC1 was the 2004 version of The Stepford Wives. (Which is a mess, but never mind.)

And they introduced it with the current version of this ident.

Okay, writing more story vignettes... I should really stop being lazy and make caps.

Intruders

... is a new series about body-swapping. Good horror/SF people are involved (Michael Marshall, Glen Morgan, Bear McCreary, John Simm) but the premise is a bit distracting. There isn't much TG swapping yet...

Sometimes the clothes just can't be denied...

An influence on that idea... Material Girl.

(The wedding dress isn't in the story, darn it.)

Telekinesis...

You can feel the power being used... your hands, no longer under your control, start to undress you. You try to struggle and resist, but soon you are naked.

And then the power's effects truly begin. Your skin begins the soften, body hair falling away... chest swelling, hips flaring, waist cinching...

The clothes you resisted rise through the air, slipping and snaking towards your body as the changes are complete... as you are ready to wear them at last... unable to resist, and shaped to suit them... the dress, the stockings, the high heeled shoes... they are yours... you are theirs.

Never mind telekinesis

Lucy is about someone accidentally developing superpowers... and one of them is hair colour and style control.

Yes please.

Of course, I'd want the power to change more than just that...

Going out, dressed as a guy. Sigh.

I wish for...

The rustle of silk with every movement. The tap of a high heel with every step. The whisper of hose against hose. The bounce of soft curls. The taste of lipstick. The sway of hips and the swing of breasts.

No longer having to hide the woman I really am. I couldn't if I tried. No-one would ever mistake me for a man ever again.

It's 19:58... so why aren't I in a girdle and petticoats? ;)

Pierced ears?

I don't have them. I nearly got them pierced in my early 20s, when being rebellious and so on would have been cover for doing that as a male, but didn't. Just something else I missed out on.

Ahhh...

The weekend is over, tidied up, a little time to myself... time to shower early and slip into something more comfortable. As I write this, I adjust my favourite skirt over my sheer black hose.

Early impressions

A documentary about Kate Bush reminded me how her "chainmail bikini" look in Babooshka made a strong early impression on me, how she'd suddenly go from demure, veiled and soft-spoken to shouting stompy sexualised Red Sonja.

I wonder how much people messing around with gender and sexual stereotypes when I was little informed who and what I am now. It all comes from somewhere...

Oh Clara, I wish I could wear that like you do...

And I guess the rest of Doctor Who was fun too.

Boy Meets Girl

The BBC are prepping a sitcom about a relationship between a "regular" guy and a transwoman, to star an actual transwoman. Apparently I missed the Trans Comedy Award that the script was submitted for. I hope it's, y'know, good.

Of course, there was another Boy Meets Girl on ITV five years ago, with Martin Freeman and Rachael Stirling body-swapping. It has to be better than that...

It's a hair crime.

Wow, the Dracula TV series last year really wasn't good.

And don't make Katie McGrath blonde.

Still haven't fully tidied up, or dressed up. And no, I haven't been tidying up in an apron. :P

At least I've caught up with some online fun, so that's something.

Guest is away, and... I am so tired.

Office wear

For an Elliquiy game, looking for suitably feminine attire for an office that's being Stepfordised.

1 is for the grownup ladies. I think 3 would suit us "girls".

Plans

Okay, buying myself a whole new Gothy makeup set.

Around Halloween.

I'm sexy! I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!

Your long golden hair is tied into a ponytail, bouncing and tickling the back of your neck.

It's the one time you're seen without high heels. But the bouncy little pleated skirt makes up for it.

Every guy in school wants you, or at least one of your squad.

You remember a time before you joined the cheerleaders. Life was so much less fun...

Grooming

My nails are getting kind of long. Unfortunately this means having to cut them back, not get a manicure and some polish.

It's interesting how something as simple as that gets loaded with meaning.

Shaving facial hair is normal for men, despite being a complicated and often painful process, to look more boyish.

Shaving my legs would be right out, though...

And the real head-scratcher is... why is the taboo stuff so darned arousing?

First Robin Williams, now Lauren Bacall. Damn.

Me again

After a week and more sneaking around, it's sooooo nice to be able to dress again and play around online. I'm properly dressed for the first time this month. It feels so good to be in a skirt.

Remind me to buy myself something pretty for when the visit's over, rather than just a temporary respite.

Helplessness

High heels. Hosiery.

Skirts so tight you have to walk with a wiggle and running is all but impossible. Or so heavy they weight you down. Or so long you cannot see your feet as you descend the stairs.

Girdles. Corsets. Long nails.

Everything designed to make you helpless.

Mmm.

As a small example, Louise found this video on getting into and out of cars in a tight skirt and high heels. As she noted, the demonstrator makes it look easy... but it isn't, is it?

69 posts!

(giggle)

Identities

Umpteen years ago, I read "What's In A Name?" a one-off comic strip by Neil Gaiman in 2000AD about an author who used pseudonyms to cover various genres, imagining each as a different character - a tough veteran for action stories, a Byronic thinker for serious drama and (TG interest alert!) a sultry vamp for romances. He got to the point they were starting to intrude on each other's stories, so he came to a psychiatrist... who (this being 2000AD) had a mental projection booth thingy that allowed each persona to leave the original writer's body and live separately.

(The punchline being the author couldn't think of anything himself, so he had to create a new pseudonym in a new genre... and the double punchline being the psychiatrist considering publishing his notes, thinking no-one would believe him, thinking of a pen name and deciding against it.)

Anyway... the idea of taking another persona out and having it live separately as a different person stuck.

If I could pull Beatrice with all of her desires out into a separate body, leaving (redacted) to look like I do now and not want to look like Beatrice any more, I'm sure we'd both be happier.

But which one would be me...?

Manly fantasy... with lots of dressing up

Immortals was on TV tonight. Lovely. Terrible, but lovely.

Not as lovely, from my POV, as The Cell (with Jennifer Lopez turning into a queen in a posture collar) or The Fall (with Justine Waddell in a kimono) but I'll take it. And Frieda Pinto managed to come right out of washing in a waterfall with her eyeliner just so and her red satin robe nice and clean too. Lucky thing. So nice to see a director who understands the value of a fabulous ensemble.

(And Henry Cavill with his shirt off and oiled up as well.)

I really must watch Mirror Mirror sometime.

Someday

I believe that in the future, we will be able to become whoever we want to be.

I hope I get to see that time.

What do you hope for our future?

What do you do?

The package is addressed to you, but you do not recognise the sender. It looks like a shoebox.

It is.

Inside is a pair of elegant high heels. In your size.

Who knows your secret? Who would send these to you?

And do you put them on?

Playing unwilling vs. willing

Right now I have a new RP going, where my character did not want to be changed. It's a punishment for being an aggressive alpha male type, among other motives. So he's furious about being kidnapped and turned into a girl against his will, and what is expected of him as a result. We've had to come up with reasons for him not to kill his abductor, or himself. I'm worried I'm pushing it too far, so I'm looking for a balance.

At a certain point, realistic responses to a forced change have to take a back seat, or such stories will end in escape or revenge. A few do, because that's how they feel they should.

I also have another with a boy who is actually intersex trying to get out of a con trick involving him posing as a lady. He's not used to power so he whines and grumbles as he goes along with it, but he's highly defensive of his negligible masculinity and that's great fun to play.

Willing characters, on the other hand, need some other source of plot, or it's just a changing and dressing fantasy, not a story. They're very easy to play because I'd be a willing character myself, but they might not be much fun to read.

Send me back... somewhere nice.

One of the biggest TV shows of the year is likely to be Outlander, a time travel romance based on a very popular book series and with the Battlestar Galactica people making it.

Time travel romance is a major fantasy of mine, but Outlander is a bit of a weird one for me, though, because...

(a) the heroine goes back to the 1740s from the 1940s instead of the present...

(b) I don't really get sexy Highlanders, being Scottish.

(Trivia: a kilt may be a skirt but it doesn't trigger my dressing-in-drag arousal, since it's a MAN skirt and I can wear it at fancy parties without being in drag.)

And (c) the clothes she gets aren't pretty. There were pretty clothes in the 1740s, but not really in rough rural Scotland. There may be a big-pretty-dress scene at some point, of course. But I'd be pretty bummed if I got sent back and had to wear homespun wool all the time.

Male clothes... pretty much all boring.

A retro shop in town has a sign saying "life's too short to wear boring clothes." I wish I could live by that maxim...

Life's certainly too short to wear boring clothes all the time...

In the closet, and not in the fun dressing-up way

My brother is visiting for the next three weeks, so posts might be a bit erratic. (And he doesn't even have a Gothy girlfriend I can try on clothes from, as he's married and she's back where he lives with their kids.)

Costume / Drag / Theatricality

The Edinburgh Festivals have begun, four weeks of great shows, crap shows, and of course some drag shows.

The Lady Boys Of Bangkok have been a fixture here for years, with new girls just about every year making this poor un-passing dresser jealous. I saw them out and about one year... I suspect. Certainly it was a group of rather tall Thai girls in short skirts with some slightly falsetto voices.

Not a lot of all-male as-intended Shakespeare this year, sadly.

I have never gotten up on stage in drag. That would be a workable excuse, but the opportunity has never arisen.

TG Movies: (spoiler)

Okay, this is a Pedro Almodovar movie which doesn't reveal its TG-ish-ness until 2/3 of the way in. But it's not exactly secret among our little subculture... but still, cut for spoiler...

Cut for spoiler...

... I think...

... that should do it...

Devotion to my art, or something

I just rented three Robert Pattinson movies back to back. All to make screencaps of female stars in pretty dresses. Which I admit is rather odd. And I only properly watched one of them.

Bel Ami for Holliday Grainger as a 19th century heiress (following on from Great Expectations and Anna Karenina), Cosmopolis (the one I watched) for Sarah Gadon as a high-fashion lady, and Remember Me for Emilie De Ravin as a girlfriend dressed up for a big date.

Being my big brother's girlfriend's little sister

When I was sixteen and still trying not to be a girl, my brother had a Gothy girlfriend... and sometimes she'd leave stuff in his room. She was the first woman not related to me that I ever borrowed things from. I wore her skirts, her tights, her black and cherry lipsticks... She never left a full outfit, and I nearly got caught once by my brother with what little she did have. But I remember leaving a glossy purple lipstick mark on a tissue and smile.

And one day she bought a wedding dress from a charity shop. She planned to dye it black... I don't know if she ever did.

I do know it didn't quite fit me. :/

(Some years later, a friend managing a charity shop mentioned a man coming in to buy a dress "for a costume party" and coming back a week later for a wedding dress. As I said, "if you're gonna do it, do it properly." I hope I didn't sound too wistful...)

For my late teens and most of my 20s I had quite long hair. But it was "manly" long hair, i.e. in bad condition. Some of it was strong, but some of it was weak, and thinned. Something else to resent testosterone for...

Andreja

Andreja Pejic, formerly known as androgynous model Andrej, has completed SRS and changed her name. She was always enviably beautiful either way. I hope her career stays on the up and up.

Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls...

Putting together a "soundtrack" for my fake wedding TG story. I kinda want "I'm Just A Girl" at some point, and "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" is in there already... and a "you were made for me" song of some kind for a big romantic moment. Probably not "Lola", too obvious...

And possibly a drunk karaoke version of "I Enjoy Being A Girl" during the bachelorette party.

Something I wish for

I can't quite stop a wince and feel my cheeks flush as the maid tightens the silk laces once more.

The corset holds me tight, giving me an hourglass figure, pushing the flesh of my chest up into a hint of cleavage. I feel a little dizzy, sore and breathless. She assures me "you will soon be used to it" and I blush all the more. Knowing that I will.

I already wear a chemise, bloomers, stockings and high heeled boots... I already look alarmingly like a woman... what more does she plan to do to me?

I catch glimpses of the gleaming white satin of the gown as she works around me... fitting me into petticoats that swish as they brush the floor. Somehow this is more feminising than anything else, being skirted. But apparently not enough, as she fastens a padded bustle over my derriere, adds a corset cover...

She pauses to lay out pearl and silver jewellery, rouge and perfume, and satin opera gloves... it seems that her employer plans for me to be fully dressed in this manner.

Finally she brings out the gown.

It is so lovely that, to my deep embarrassment, I cannot deny my desire to be dressed in it...

But the film's in colour?

The first trailer for inept BDSM porn Twilight-ripoff-without-vampires Five-O Shades Of Black And White (or something like that) has arrived and, well, the girl's sort of cute and the guy kind of looks like budget Superman and looks nice in a suit and with his shirt off.

There are tiny flashes of blindfolds and wrist restraints and a little flick-tickle with a riding crop, but otherwise it looks Mills & Boon. After all, a major studio can't really make porn.

I wouldn't be surprised if there's an extended more porny DVD. That's where the actual audience will be, right?

Now, how about a big studio version of Baroness Gloria?

50 posts! Here is some music...

With your cherry lips and golden curls
You could make grown men gasp when you go walking past
And in your hot pants and high heels
They could not believe that such a body was for real
It seemed like rainbows would appear
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear
Because you looked just like a girl
Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast

Summer

Summer is officially here... it's been too warm to wear anything nice even indoors since Saturday. I don't own any cute sun dresses, as my body needs more coverage to look at all feminine. Still, sweating off some weight is probably a good thing... just icky in the process...

Which side am I on here? Guess...

So there's this new creepy wannabe-Mr-Grey series of advertising photos for a suit company...

And all they do is remind me how much more fun feminine clothing is.

Time travel dressing up (again)

Being British, I was raised on Dickens, Austen and more on BBC TV (and sometimes ITV) of a Sunday evening, so I'm likely to find an actress more attractive if she looks good in corsets and petticoats, and an actor if he can wear a top hat with aplomb.

Add the frisson of it being a modern girl sent back in time and it's better still! Having to cope with corsets and petticoats with our POV...

(The current Doctor Who companion Clara is cute as a button and has so far worn gorgeous Victorian dresses at least once a year.)

Lots of children's fiction involves time travel, and a lot of that got TV adaptations as well because (like Who) it was what they were really good at. Moondial sticks in my head as an example. It didn't even have much dressing up!

A non-children's example was Lost In Austen, in which the wistfully romantic but very modern Amanda  replaces Elizabeth Bennet in Pride And Prejudice and screws it up royally, like we all probably would. But oh, I'd like to try!

I want to be a Girl Aloud

Specifically a couple albums down the line. I'd love to be made over by their stylists...

I want to be a Material Girl

My first 50s retro dressing fantasy was second-hand. It was Madonna doing Material Girl, imitating Marilyn doing Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend. By then she'd done Like A Virgin, which helped build my fairytale princess and bride fantasies.

But to this day... I want this dress.

Magically turned into a bride? Yes please!

Sapphire Foxx made a cartoon rather close to my ultimate fantasy.

TG Movies: It's A Boy Girl Thing

After I grumbled about Switch, I mentioned It's A Boy Girl Thing. Now, I'm not saying this is perfect, but it's fun.

Disturbing Behavior is like The Stepford Wives in high school... only mostly targeting boys. Spoiler cut for a fifteen-year-old movie...

TG Movies: Switch

Have you seen Switch? If you're reading this blog, you probably have. (If not, Google Blake Edwards Switch and it's on YouTube as the fifth result.)

It's kind of terrible. Ellen Barkin struggling with high heels is amusing, but could have been played for more laughs. But it's the biggest of the genre. (It's A Boy/Girl Thing is way better.) All the more reason we need another one...

"Like A Girl"

This current advert/meme is about how "like a girl" is used as an insult, and therefore insulting to girls. Which is true, naturally, and horrible.

But on the flip side, I found this song from 1896 (lyrics and cover art only) while looking for something to be heard in a music hall during an RP, about how great being a girl would be.

"To be a girl a week, if it were mine, I'd give the world"

Originally sung by a girl dressed up as a boy, of course...

It's kind of a funny story...

I'm idly pondering the writing-to-be-seen possibilities of a current RP. It's an idea I've had for a while, and finally found someone to share ideas with.

You know "Seven Chances", or its remake "The Bachelor"? A "Brewster's Millions" kind of thing, where someone has to do something difficult to get a fortune... In this case, a single guy has to be married by a certain date to win?

Well... I'm sure you can see the obvious twist regarding our interests. ;) The only friend he can really trust is (currently) male...

It's expressly to be done as a romantic comedy, with the hero(ine) having to deal with being a girl and her changing feelings for her best friend, someone helping her play the role and taking obvious amusement in it, other romantic interests being brought in, and the will-they-or-won't-they ending.

I could almost see it being made as a little indie film. Not even porn!

Roleplaying and THAT kind of roleplaying

You know the old "roleplaying game players get pulled into the game and have to play their characters for real" idea?

That's why I play pretty princesses. ;)

Being on the girl side of the divide

Tomorrow is the World Cup final, on BBC One and ITV. BBC Two is showing Shall We Dance? and Channel 4 has Titanic. Whatever might they be implying about gender-related interests?

Hell yes I'm watching Titanic!

On a related note, "Ladyship" at TGComics entices me in a way few Poser comics do because of its content. Hypnotised to become an Edwardian lady? Yes please...

It's Friday, and I'm at home in my nightie and earrings, working on pictures for some Elliquiy stories.

Yes, I know, I should make TG caps. Shush. :)

Stepford

Another idea tangled up with forced feminisation, transformation and mind control... The Stepford Wives does it to women. It's a horror-satire commentary on what men want from women. But naturally, there's some Stepford TG fan work here and there. It's another of those fantasies...

It's like being a 50s housewife, but it's not even the 50s... and the impulse to look and act the part aren't even natural... and being completely controlled and changed to order by a powerful husband...

Elliquiy

I don't actually recall who told me about Elliquiy, which I joined six years ago today. I'd like to thank them. In the intervening time I've had some great stories, some great turn-ons, my share of disappointments and vanishing RP partners, and even some praise for the quality of my writing!

(Edit a day later - and the site gets a new look the day after I've been there six years, and I get all confused. :D )

Make me over, early 60s syle

Beatnik Beauty, a ridiculous example from the British Pathe archive of 1963. Of course the girl is an actress. Of course I want to have this happen to me.

Trying On The Royal Wardrobe

Historian Dr. Lucy Worsley was given another opportunity to dress up in period frocks tonight on BBC4's "Tales From The Royal Wardrobe". She looked overwhelmed in a recreation of one of Elizabeth the First's dresses, rather cute in a massive 18th-century Court Mantua and totally enviable (apart from the hat) in a Dior 1947 New Look suit.

I doubt I'd be the only one.

If we could become whoever we wanted... who wouldn't be tempted at some point?

If we all became our online personas tomorrow, I bet there would suddenly be a lot less fat guys and a lot more hot girls trying to use the fat guys' ID.

Get dressed...

You step into the room, naked from the shower, your smooth skin patted dry.

You cross to the chest of drawers and retrieve a pair of black silk knickers. Nice and tight, designed to keep your little "error" tucked away and to give you a bit more in the trunk.

You feel better already, don't you?


Taking a seat, your paint your nails - fingers and toes, in black cherry. Your lips will match them soon enough.

Next your waist cincher. lacing it up nice and tight to give you that hourglass figure you crave, the cups pushing your chest into a hint of cleavage.

Now your nails are dry, you point your feet, slip the stockings on and slowly and carefully roll them up your smooth legs. You smile as you fasten them to the garters. They always make them look so uniquely feminine. Your true self is starting to emerge already.

It's time to put on your dress. To fasten yourself into it, redefining yourself as the girl you really are.

You linger on your makeup, giving yourself smoky eyes and kissable lips.

You fix your long, silky hair... imagining other hands stroking it.

A little jewellery, a spritz of perfume... time to step into your favourite pair of heels.

Picking up a purse, you turn to the mirror and blow yourself a kiss.

There you are...

Happy 4th Of July!

I'm not American either. Although I do fantasise about being turned into a cheerleader. ;)

Nice

From the new edition of Dungeons & Dragons:

I wish I'd come out when I realised who I really was.

I see beautiful early changed transgirls and I'm more than a little jealous. Testosterone has done quite a job on me, sad to say.

Oh well, still waiting on that transformation pill.

Happy Canada Day!

I am not Canadian. Just being friendly.

Clothes maketh the man... into the woman

As a crossdresser with a yearning to be transformed, the idea of clothes that transform the wearer to suit them naturally appeals. Put on the right dress and I'll look like it was made for me... when in fact I was made for it.

My most elaborate (and I freely admit insane) fantasy involves this... and poltergeists... and period clothing.

There's a delightful moment in the basically terrible remake of The Haunting when invisible ghostly hands start to braid the heroine's hair. I really wanted it to go all the way from hair to outfit...

I've done this as a roleplay a few times, usually pulling the resulting beauty back into Victorian times but sometimes putting her in a new life in the present or other eras.

I'd make a film of it if I had the resources to do so... probably leaving out the TG element, just using the magic makeover...

Sunday

.. is, oddly enough, the day I dress most often. In my Sunday best. Not having to work, not having to study, the number of shops being shut actively discouraging shopping...

It's also the day I roleplay most often, so that gets me out of the house... and resisting the temptation to play girly characters around my friends... usually.

Roleplaying

This is something I do two ways.

1: as my secret identity, the regular group and dice and rules version.

2: as me, interactive storytelling and/or cyber.

I take care not to let 2 leak into 1.

I keep an eye on how many female characters I play, try to keep it less than 50% and make sure not to make them all very femme. In most games it doesn't really matter.

(Funnily enough I've gone most femme when there are female players around, they find playing tomboys with me playing a girly-girl amusing and throw in ideas.)

I've played female characters at more length online in 1-style games, as my physical presence isn't such a distraction from the role.

And (ahem) I may have played a female player in some games. There I get reallllly femme.

On Elliquiy and IRC and YIM, I pretty much exclusively do gender transformation stories, as it's all about the adult and erotic side of things. Some of them even have plots, of a sort!

Friday night

And I wish I was picking out a dress to go dancing in.

Bride of the Vampire

I try to keep my TG and non-TG interests apart (so I've resisted writing TG fanfic... just about...) but vampires cross my sexy and non-sexy interests.

Pale and Gothic and slim and prone to wearing old-fashioned clothing and having to pretend you're one thing when you're really another and sensually biting necks and eternally young and beautiful...

I'm not the first to add gender changing to their list of possible powers. I've seen a few stories like that. There's a whole clan (vampire type) in White Wolf's Vampire The Masquerade RPG who alter their bodies and those of others as their unique power. Of course, I'd usually bypass that and go straight to playing a female character, except in specifically TG roleplay where being changed is part of the fun...

I want to be a 50s housewife

I didn't live through this one either - I did once meet a crossdresser who had, who definitely encouraged me to want this.

It's a recognisably modern era were gender divisions were sharper than much of the rest of the 20th century, exaggerated.

Petticoats came back in, along with girdles (not quite corsets, but good enough!) and major makeup being a part of the look as well.

The 50s Housewife is a definite style... and one I want to try.

Yes, I want to be Betty Draper. (Just with a more loyal and honest Don.)

I want to be a Victorian lady

Okay, so, having been born three quarters of a century after end of the Victorian era, why do I want to dress that way?

This one is partially down to being British. The BBC do a disproportionate amount of period dramas, and that means pretty actresses modelling corsets and petticoats and bustles and all.

And it's not just me. There's a lot of Victoriana among Goths - another reason I envy Goth girls. An acknowledgement that it's beautiful, elegant and delightfully impractical.

Mind control fantasies

I can probably cite Chris Claremont for this one. I suspect a generation of geeks can. The 80s X-Men comics have a lot of sexy evil fetish mind control. Usually with the controlled heroine (and it's usually a heroine) getting a sexy evil fetish makeover.

The most famous example is Jean Grey at the Hellfire Club, which leads to her wearing a corset and thigh boots and then becoming Dark Phoenix. (Of course, he can cite that episode of The Avengers which he "borrowed" the Hellfire Club from, where Mrs. Peel wears that while pretending to be drugged. And they were referencing the real Hellfire Club. Although no evidence of ladies in thigh boots there.)


As mentioned before, it factors into "forced" TG, as it's "not your fault" you're acting that way...

Ambition: Stockings

I've never worn stockings, only tights. I'd really like to try them. Get my legs nice and smooth, pedi and paint my nails, and slowly carefully roll up a brand new pair of sheer stockings.

Not that I'd stop there, of course. I'd have knickers on already... and a full bra and girdle... fasten myself into a new dress, step into high heels and strap them on at the ankle, do my makeup, jewellery, perfume...

Okay, add girdle to the ambition list. I've done all the rest...

Isn't the solstice supposed to be magical?

It's the longest day, it's nice and warm outside... and I'd like to be wearing a sun dress.

Being femme for half the year might be just about enough... although which half? Warmer or colder, or cutting across the solstices? Ideally spring and autumn, so it's not too warm or too cold for sheer hose and skirts of varying length...

One Of The Girls, For The Boys

In my "secret identity" I'm not generally attracted to men.

As the me writing this, I'm not generally attracted to women.

Somewhere along the way, I went from wanting a woman to feminise me to wanting a man to do it. A real man, a strong man, who will make me feel small and girlish and feminine...

Apparently this development is not uncommon. So that's something...

My earliest feminising experience

Back before puberty to about age seven, at that stage when I was acutely aware that boys and girls were different but not entirely sure how - I once left the house in the evening after a spat with my older brother and was then cornered in the park nearby by a female neighbour/contemporary of his and one of her friends. They were obviously in a weird mood because they decided to torment me (for all of three minutes) by asking me about Princess Diana (or Lady Diana as I mistakenly still called her) and then...

... making me curtsey.

I've never told this to anyone.

Being feminised became an occasional fear...  and then a desire.

And I still remember how to curtsey.

What did you wear last time you dressed properly?

Or in my case, what am I wearing right now? I have a day off...

My favourite long black skirt, knickers bra and tights to match, the shoe you see my picture in and its partner, a purple silk blouse, bit of lippy and eyeliner, not full slap. I really need a new wig...

An old favourite

When I was in school, the library had some books on horror films. Which seems weird, but never mind. And in one of them was this ad for Dr. Jekyll And Sister Hyde.

The film did NOT live up to the ad. It was in fact pretty low-key, quite witty (by the creator of The Avengers TV series and Captain Kronos) and the main transformation sequence was done (a) quite cleverly and (b) wearing a dressing gown.

She didn't spend long enough dressing up in lovely Victorian dresses and undies for my liking, but we can't have everything...

Here comes the bride...

I want to walk up the aisle all in white, ready to become a wife.

Going Gothic

This is one look I've been able to try in public. (At Halloween.) All in black,long skirt and blouse, hair and makeup to match... For a while I had a pair of ankle-length "witch boots" with a slight heel.

I wished Halloween could come more often.

Goth clubs were pretty CD-friendly, lots of long-haired men in makeup and frilly shirts anyway, but getting to and from them was the tricky part. So just the once... my one outing as me.

Forced Feminization, Bimbofication And More

Locked In Lace explains this idea nicely.

I didn't know the common term for this for a few years (I started dressing pre-WWW) and when I discovered it my first thought was "of course..."

As I was raised supposed to be a boy, wanting to be a girl felt "wrong", as something I wasn't supposed to want. But if it isn't (apparently) my choice to be feminized, I don't feel so guilty or ashamed.

And in fantasy, other kinds of coercion come in. Being tricked or blackmailed so I have to act as well as look like a girl...

Or being hypnotised to accept it. Which could also bring in mental changes.

One major variation on this is bimbo transformation. (Thank you CaptAdams!) I am physically and mentally changed into an ultra-feminine woman and made to enjoy it and it isn't my choice, so I can guilt-free, carefree and happy...

I don't like Tumblr but here I am...

The first image I wanted to be

It snuck up on me around Christmas 1986 and left a lasting, defining impression. I had experimented with dressing by then, but I figured I was safe enough going to see a family fantasy film. One I still love, and not just for this scene near the end.

Cut for those not wanting my weirdness to ruin their childhood...

Casa Valentina

So I just heard on Fictionmania about this Tony-winning play by Harvey Fierstein and I want to go.

To the play.

And to the early 1960s crossdresser's weekend retreat where the play is set...

My self-image(s)

As I joke on Elliquiy, when I grow up I want to be Morgana even though she's younger than me. I've used pictures of her as my avatar there since starting (yikes) almost six years ago. Being a stunning Gothic beauty, fetish model and artist is more than a little appealing.

Of course, she's not the only one. That would be far too simple.

And yes, I really, really want this to be me.

Being a woman for one day

"Take this, and you will become a beautiful woman for one day."

What would you do? Apart from try and get a lifetime supply?

Crossdressing, transformation and fantasies

Having talked a little about who I want to be, I suppose I should discuss some specifics.

I call myself TG because it's a broad spectrum. I'm not transitioning at this time, but would like to. Given the chance, I'd go for it, permanently.

But dressing up is also erotic for me, so I'm a bit of a jumble of desires and motives.

I am a transvestite.

I'd like to be more.

My fantasies include:

Transforming into a full female, being beautiful. Currently impossible. Damn it.
Being passable when dressed. The closest to possible.
Forced feminization. Because of guilt about the whole thing, and submissiveness.
Being told what to wear. See above.

And it gets weirder...

Mind control. A step beyond force, where I have no choice at all... except to enjoy it.
Bimbo transformation. See above. Being sexy and fun, to please a man, and having no will to resist my new desires.
Clothing-based changes. Putting on clothes shapes me into the person who should fit them... so putting on a dress turns me into the lady it was designed for...
Vampires. Yes, I'm a bit of a Goth boy/girl.

And it tops out at "wow, that's just impractical"...

Time travel. Yes, I want to become a woman in a previous century. A time of really beautiful and impractical clothing, like the late Victorian era or the 1950s. "When men were men and women were women..." and I'd be a woman.

Being trans sometimes messes with my perceptions

The blog post on Elliquiy that led to this:


Yesterday, out and about in my masculine "secret identity", I went into my local-ish KFC and found myself queueing behind a tall and lean but somewhat muscular woman, my height (almost 6') and wearing a bondage collar as well as a little black dress (with the sixe 10 tag sticking up at the back) and spike heels (which helped with the height, but she'd still be tall without), with shortish hair and rather extreme makeup.

I was actually surprised when I heard a woman's voice when she spoke.

She was a dancer in costume on her way to a performance, hence the out-of-place attire and stagey makeup, as I figured because she was with three other women in workout clothes and ballet and dance company shirts. I mentioned the tag to her, and she put it in and laughed "oops, showing everybody I'm a size ten" and I said "well, I would if I could too" and smiled and tried to pass that off as a joke rather than the truth.

So yeah, I met the sort of women that convincing (if rather tall) crossdressers can aspire to pass for, and immediately thought she was one.

Who I am, and who I wish I was

Once upon a time there was a boy who wondered what it would be like to be a girl. When he was about 12, he tried on some of his mother's clothes, just to see how they worked... how a bra went on and came off, that kind of thing... And I discovered that I liked it.

Since then I have fantasised, sometimes more and sometimes less but rarely not at all, about becoming a real girl.

I'm in the closet and not really passable IRL (unfortunately) so my dressing is occasional and secret.

Right now, I'm wearing black bra and panties, hose, skirt, heels and blouse. It feels good to be properly dressed.

Ultimately I want to change on a level not currently possible. :/

What I'd really like is a full gender transformation, ideally in a handy pill form. ;)

Would I be content to be just one woman, though? Sometimes I want to be a princess, other times a tart. A beautiful bride. A Gothic lady. A Victorian débutante. A 50s housewife. I want to try so many kinds of femininity...

Sometimes I'm Betty, sometimes I'm Grace, occasionally I'm something else like Tina. Just occasionally.

I like to think I'd settle down (with the right man ;) ) but I'd probably love costume parties...

In the meantime I roleplay, read stories and captions and comics, and fantasise about being turned into a girl...

Politically I'm a feminist - the things I want to happen to me I don't want to happen to women in general.

Hello world!

By popular demand (of one person) I now have a blog. No idea how much I'll use it, but here it is.